If you’ve been following my posts you may noticed that i was totally absent for a month. Not only i didn’t post anything, i barely logged-in on WordPress.com. I could make excuses, i could even say nothing at all and pretend that everything is ok but this is a matter that really annoys me and i think it’s time to address it once and for all.
The truth is that for a whole month i just wasted time. I was absent even from my own life. I did nothing creative, i played videogames the whole day, i didn’t want to answer or talk to anyone. Why? Not because it’s something i like to do, on the contrary, i hate that behavior. I don’t have time to waste. I have so many ideas, so many projects to do, so many things to say, so many things to offer, so much life to live…
My problem, is that i’m trapped in a place that not only doesn’t offer anything to me, it only takes away the little i might have left. After 7 years of living alone in the city (Thessaloniki) and pursuing my dream to work as a photographer i had to return to my parents house, in a remote village of 500 people. At first i tried to look at it positively, a break away from the stressful life of the city, i could relax and work on my personal projects since i would have no work here, i started this blog and concentrated more on my online presence. I didn’t really have a job in the city either, for the last 2 years every day was a struggle to pay the rent, pay the ever-rising bills. I won’t go into a pity mode and talk about the economic crisis etc…In a few words, i can’t find a job (any job), even if i do find a job, the money would never be enough to go back to the city and that is, if i even get paid.
The solution? If you can’t break through the wall, fly over it. So after a full month of depression i came to a realization, that there’s no reason to stay here and fight a war that will yield no result whatsoever. I’ve been doing that with all my strength for the past 3 years. I tried to stay positive, believe that somehow i could make it. I now realize that even if i did make it, that would never be enough considering the current situation of the country. I feel like i wasted enough time already. I yearn to be in a creative environment, to have people in my life with aspiration, passion for what they do. Young people with a flame in their hearts, not zombies that sit back and watch while their country is falling apart, who work and don’t get paid for months and don’t do anything about it and the only thing they care about is to go out and have their coffee using their parents money. Who’s to blame for our situation when we do nothing at all? I cannot stand this “theatre of the absurd” anymore.
I need to create, to work, to offer my services, i need to feel alive. The few people i have met that were different, that were on the same wavelength as me, they decided to leave this country or are from abroad anyway. So that’s what i’m going to do too. I need to find my place in this planet and it’s certainly not here, not at this time at least. It’s a beautiful country and if things were better i would not consider to leave, i’d build my base here and travel the world. But the reality of the situation is a lot worse than most people care to admit and i need to do something about my future. For those who don’t know i’m half Austrian. So my plan is to gather some money somehow and buy a ticket to go to Austria, that’s why i chose to put this specific photo on the beginning of my post, 2006 was my last visit there. Hopefully i can do that in the first months of 2014 and get a chance to start my life there. I’m really excited on the prospect and will focus on making it happen anyway that i can.
Closing this huge post, i just want to thank you all for the support you have given me. All the feedback i have received on my work is amazing. I’m still pretty new to this whole blogging world and have a lot to learn but i’m really enjoying this and i hope you do too 🙂 I’m really grateful for everything in my life and i consider myself to have been really lucky. I had some great opportunities appear out of the blue and picked me up everytime i was feeling down, i met lovely people that showed me how much they believe in me. So it’s time to take my life in my hands and do this…Keep your fingers crossed for me 😉
Thank you for your time and consideration,